When award-winning entrepreneur Anoushka Adya and renowned social activist Jyoti Adya set out to write a collection of short stories titled ‘Seeta & Geeta’, which underlines the inequalities that Indian women across urban and rural areas confront in their daily lives, they wanted to approach it from a uniquely humorous, accessible and insightful perspective. The stories, which touch upon a broad range of issues that, despite having been declared unconstitutional, continue to impact the lives of Indian women, showcase just how ridiculous social customs and attitudes towards women are. Anoushka and Jyoti also run Lajja Diaries—a platform that encourages discourse on women’s rights in India and across the world through various campaigns that tackle macro-level issues through a grassroots-level approach. As the book now assumes a life of its own in the readers’ minds, PEAKLIFE catches up with the authors for a conversation on the current landscape of women’s rights in India, their efforts to trigger systemic change through their work with Lajja Diaries and ‘Seeta & Geeta’, and the fight for an equal society.
Anoushka Adya, Founder of Lajja Diaries & Co-author of Seeta & Geeta
Through fictional short stories, ‘Seeta & Geeta’ touches upon very pertinent concerns that plague our reality in India—the pervasiveness of crimes against women and prejudices that women continue to encounter in their daily lives. These explicit and implicit forms of oppression may manifest in the lives of women across social groups differently, and the experience of navigating modern India as a woman—across sections of society—must vary. Does the collection of short stories acknowledge this intersectionality?
Yes, definitely. The stories acknowledge the intersectionality and the experience of modern Indian women across different sections of society. The stories are set in both rural and urban areas – there are bits of remote Bihar as also bits of Bengaluru or Chandigarh in them. Seeta & Geeta is a collection of stories that remind us of the struggles that women face, sometimes because of their caste, class, religion or age, and sometimes irrespective of these factors. But they also celebrate their attempts to negotiate through the social maze and break free of their restricting circumstances. The stories [deal] with nine different issues, most of which have been declared unconstitutional, but continue to exist and thrive, such as child marriage/gauna, dowry, female foeticide, acid attacks, love jihad, the ‘fair and lovely’ cult, virginity rituals and body shaming.
In most stories, the characters are seen dealing with a situation upfront and seeing their fears and insecurities in the eye. Sometimes, the protagonists do manage to affect larger change, but sometimes they don’t. They deal with their circumstances the best way they can; which is how real people face their problems. It was honestly our conscious choice not to make this book preachy. There is enough of that out there. We just want these stories to reach out to the maximum number of people, young boys and girls especially, and make them aware of the kind of prejudices that still complicate the fight for gender justice in India. This is one of the main reasons we chose to write it as a satire, so it reaches maximum people, and the message for gender equality is embraced by all.
We want Seeta & Geeta to trigger thinking—among women and men, young girls and boys alike. Then it is up to every individual to affect the change they deem fit. Change, after all, has to be driven at the micro-level. We believe that for change to be sustainable, it needs to begin within the family unit. A starting point could be a change in the power dynamics within the family, and a change in the mindsets. Of course, mothers need to push for their daughters’ education, but they also need to teach their sons about the need to treat women with respect. Boys need to be taught from a very young age that they are not a superior gender, and that women are not inferior creatures. If we get these basics right, we could go a long way.
This is not to say that there hasn’t been any change in the last few decades. There has. But we have a long way to go, and we cannot stop here. We shouldn’t. We strongly feel that the lens through which we look at all situations needs to become more gender-neutral in India. Our stories provide a slice of life as it exists at the ground level, but there is no reason why we cannot hope to change it. These are stories that we have been carrying in our hearts for many years. If this book manages to touch a few hearts and change a few lives, we would consider it mission accomplished. For even if you change a few lives, it is all worth it!
There is still a disproportionate amount of pressure placed on women, whether it be in terms of balancing modern and traditional values or synchronizing professional and domestic lives. These expectations are also rooted in the patriarchy and are not placed on men. Many claims that progress has been made over the past few generations. However, the patriarchal system continues to influence the private and public lives of women in the 21st century. Do you believe that there has been a significant change, and what does the process of creating a more equal society require, from your perspective?
The past few years have been a learning experience for us, working closely with women who face multiple predicaments in the domestic as well as professional sphere, predicaments borne out of the accident of their being born women. It would be funny if it were not shameful that gender continues to define the lives of women in this country, despite all the progress India has made. The BPO boom, start-ups, malls . . . we have come a long way. But gender inequality remains a grim reality in India as much for the vast multitudes of the uneducated as for the progressive classes.
Our work on the ground with Lajja Foundation has left us more awake than ever to the peculiarities of what we call the ‘desi feminist’ challenge. The challenge of equal pay or countering sexism at the workplace comes much later. Women in India are still struggling to have their basic freedoms ensured at home. Female infanticide, dowry deaths, acid attacks, bias against dark skin, body shaming, etc. are rampant in our country even today, despite there being strict laws in place. Together with sexism and social and political inequalities, women in India face intractable problems like deep-rooted local beliefs and practices, and biases that spring from caste, class, ethnic or religious divides.
With each of our campaigns—#DarkAndLovely, #NotMarriageMaterial, #TalkOKPeriodPlease—we have probed deeper and tried to understand the myriad facets of each problem. For example, while egging on the conversation on menstruation and busting established myths, we have also highlighted the lack of separate toilets, with doors that actually shut, the difficulty of disposing off used sanitary napkins, or even the lack of water to wash hands. These factors have complicated menstrual hygiene at the ground level.
While highlighting the unjustness of the skin colour bias, we have stressed on the importance to accept oneself and build up self-worth. The COVID-19 pandemic has further complicated already existing problems for women. In fact, there has been a sharp rise of domestic violence during the lockdown. We are currently running the Beti Project so that young girls whose education has been disrupted by COVID-19 can continue with their education. The Beti Project hopes to use education as a tool of sustainable change.
To sum it up, deep-rooted patriarchy has led to age-old customs still being quietly implemented—like dowry, Gauna, female infanticide, male-child preference, not educating the girl child, etc. These are basic flaws in our system and need to be changed in order for sustainable change to happen at the ground level. Education and awareness is key to creating this change at the ground level.
Significant change is visible in the metro cities, but the smaller cities and rural areas which form the majority of the country still have a long way to go. The process to create a more equal society will require the education of the girl child, and more men joining the movement to help girls and women get “equal” status in society. These two factors can be game-changing and need to be implemented as much as possible and wherever possible.
Lajja Diaries was envisioned to encourage discourse on women’s rights in India and is based on the philosophy of ‘shed the shame and share’. Could you elaborate on this thought, and on the broader mission of the NGO, as well as ways in which people could contribute to this mission?
Conceived on the 2nd Anniversary of the Nirbhaya case, in 2014, Lajja Diaries is a platform that encourages discourse on Women’s Rights in India and across the world. Over the years, [Lajja Diaries] has reached out to thousands of women both online and offline and endeavoured to create change both online and at the ground level. “Shed the Shame and Share because real violence is in your silence” is what Lajja Diaries truly believes in. With this concept as the bedrock of the organisation, Lajja hopes to contribute in shaping new mindsets.
The mission statement “Shed the shame and share” signifies that women or young girls often tend to blame themselves for everything they are put through, big or small, and are often told to develop the attitude that “you are a girl so you must go through this”. Whether it is during childhood when their education is sacrificed in order to educate their brother, or they are married as a child (Gauna) without their consent, etc. Deep-rooted patriarchy in our society is the reason behind age-old customs still being prevalent. “Shed the shame and share” urges young women to not be ashamed of themselves and stand up for their rights! Young girls need to realise that they need to stand up at their level and realise that they are powerful and can realise their dreams and live a life of dignity. They deserve equal opportunities in education and life.
[On the broader mission of Lajja Diaries:] Focusing on two pillars, i.e., income security and the right to live a life free from all forms of violence, Lajja envisages a society, where women, irrespective of caste, class, and religion, enjoy full citizenship, earn a livelihood with dignity and generate wealth and value for all. With this as the context, over the years, Lajja Diaries has initiated various campaigns to tackle the social vices that plague our society when it comes to women and to generate awareness about age-old customs that stop women from fulfilling their dreams and goals. Lajja Diaries has campaigned around various issues, such as menstruation, false notions of beauty, sexism at work, and so on. Currently, the organisation is focusing on providing access to education and other amenities to young girls across New Delhi/ NCR region, as the country battles against the Covid-19 pandemic.
The team at Lajja Diaries is driven by the conviction that listening to and voicing the stories of women’s personal battles is a very important step in the fight for equality. This collection of nine short stories is in many ways inspired by Lajja Diaries, its conviction to give women their voice and its various campaigns against societal vices. The stories are born out of real-life incidents, from the daily struggles and hardships that women face and the realities that we as a team at Lajja Diaries come face-to-face with in our fight for an egalitarian, gender-just society. Seeta & Geeta is an attempt to give a voice to the women of India, and we hope that these stories in turn inspire many more girls and women to come out with their struggles and their stories. For we truly believe that “A woman with a voice is, by definition, a strong woman. But the search to find that voice can be remarkably difficult.”
Both of you have a wealth of experience in entrepreneurship and social work, respectively. Anoushka, what would your advice be to budding entrepreneurs—especially female leaders? Jyoti, what would you say to someone who is keen to create an impact through social work or the development sector, but is unsure of how and where to start?
Anoushka Adya: Perseverance is the key to the success of any kind, irrespective of gender. Being a girl should not undermine your dreams, and make you sacrifice your passion. You can still achieve everything you truly set your mind to, as long as you are willing to work hard.
Jyoti Adya: Social development sector is an emotionally rewarding space, and starting small is always the key. It is an attitude, so start small and do what you can around you. Then lookout for an NGO that is doing interesting work, and see how you can help. Impact and scale only happen over time and with consistent efforts.
Finally, what is/are the most important lesson(s) that you hope readers absorb from the stories that you have chronicled in ‘Seeta & Geeta’?
While we want everyone to read it and experience Seeta & Geeta and draw their own lessons, here are a few from our end.
1. Gender should be treated as a spectrum, and not as two extremes. As a society, we need to become more gender neutral.
2. Education will be the bedrock of all change at the ground level.
3. Rural inclusion is very important in order for change to stand a chance.
4. Old customs and traditions that were set hundreds of years ago have to be adapted and re-interpreted in order for them to make sense in today’s climate.
5. Every young girl needs to have the confidence in herself that she can stand up for herself and build the life that she dreams of, one small step at a time. Being a girl doesn’t make her the lesser gender.
